the hard, but otherwise good life

“You have gained some weight”. Yes. Sometimes life can get hard. Or maybe not life in general, but feelings. Sometimes it gets difficult to cope with being here, wherever you are. Sometimes you might feel lonely, and feel like you have left your friends behind. But it doesn’t matter. You’re not here for feeling stuff. You’re here to study, to become better. You can never let your inner self slip because you know that can become a serious issue for you, as well as for anybody else. You’re gonna keep it together, continue doing your work, try to eat healthier, maybe even try to go to the gym so people won’t tell you’ve gained some weight. Go out. Meet strangers. Cope with your new self as well as with new people. Think. Control yourself. I don’t care if you miss anything! Oh, you think you could’ve done better? Is your heart breaking and your brain crushing in frustration everytime the train stops in the station and your sight meets the beautiful mosaique on the wall that says Columbia University that gets bigger and bigger with every stop? I don’t care. Thought you wanted med school. How are you going to do that when you can’t manage to study for 3 hours straight for your school? Isn’t that really funny? But you try, and I see, everyone sees it. You’ve worked so damn hard for those 2 weeks of glory when everyone kind of recognizes your effort but they don’t even know what it takes. They only know New York. When are you going to buy the book for med school? Are you still waiting to see if you really want it? Are you afraid of anything? Are you more comfortable knowing that you can start studying anytime, but hey, you don’t even have the books! So what’s the point? You know there’s expectations. High expectations. Expectations that you have set. Do you miss your mom? Your sister? Friends? It’s already the end of the day and you’re quitely fixing your bed. What’s the last thing you think about when you look at the photos on the wall in the weak light coming from the other building. You see your friends, your sister, your mom. I know there’s a candid feeling flooding your heart. It’s hope. It’s hope that will bear everything for you and will make something from the scratches of your soul. It’s like a fuel you will need for the next day of this fight. “It’s not easy” you say to yourself as you close your eyes and put your hands together to only tell everything to God.

P.S.: This paragraph was written during one of those harsh days when things can get pretty lonely. It’s okay, though. Those days are indeed necessary. The places you find yourself in might get demanding at times. However, be proud of yourself, no matter if you’re a student, a doctor, or simply lost. Those hard days are the proof of you doing the right thing. Don’t let a moment distract you from the good things in life. Cheer up! It’s going to be better tomorrow! 🙂

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